The Four Most Important Things I Learned This Month

So I have to share what has happened to me in the last three weeks. I seriously do believe that I would be considered very inconsiderate and selfish if I did not and I seriously do not want to feel like that, again. Okay so it has been quite the month at the Hollingsworth House. I have seriously learned some very important truths that I will not soon forget for I want to feel the way I feel today forever. The Four Most Important things I Learned This Month came about out of a pit of despair in a lot of ways. For about two weeks I just felt like I was not what I needed to be. I was not where I wanted to be. I felt mean. I felt hurt. I felt like I was not meeting the expectations that people had on me. I felt tightly strung. I felt incompatant and unfulfilled. It was truly heartbreaking to my soul. Why would I feel this way. Let me tell you. Most people know that December is an extremely busy month for our family. On the Tenth of the month we celebrate Steven's Birthday. On the 17th of the month we celebrate Tim's birthday and on the 19th of the month we celebrate our anniversary, then of course we have Christmas so things can kind of run into each other and get crazy. That is kind of how it started. I have been stressing that Steven's Birthay was not going to have the oomph I believe a twelfth birthday should have. I feel like a twelfth birthday is a crossover in many ways into the priesthood and also adulthood. The ward Christmas party was going to fall on the same day. Steven needed an interview so he could be ordained the following Sunday. We have only one working car and all sorts of meetings going on. How was it all going to work? I see mommas in all their glory making wonderful fabulous birthday cake. Would my son even have a cake? What kind of celebration did we have for a twelve year old? All of these things were concerning to me. I needent have worried. For my children really are wonderful. The day was wonderful. The best Christmas party I have ever been to happened this year and the spirit was just so amazing, brought such merriment to my life. Then two sweet little boys came home to our house where Steven and Tim and the two Atwood boys made their own cake. They loved it. They loved the sledding and staying up late. It was just amazing. Well Sunday came and Steven was ordained to a deacon and given the Aaronic Priesthood, and no I did not even cry although I was just so very proud.
Tim's birthday came next. I think sometimes Tim feels like he kind of loiters in Steven's shadow, I remember I felt that way with my brothers and sisters at times. I think it is harder when He and Steven are only a year and a week apart. I as the momma was worried that Tim would feel that he was not as important as he truly is to our family. That is not what I wanted. I also felt like because Steven had had some little friends over that no one would want to come back over to our house in the country a week later. I was also worried that Clint would not be home in time to even have ice cream and cake. His unit truly is awful. They are mean and nasty and most of the time I just do not see him until very late in the evening. Other worries of the day were again the car issue. With only the truck working things had to be planned precisely so I could get the things needed to make a cake and I also needed to plan a present and I needed to wrap that gift. Would the boys and girls that were invited be able to come. It was so nasty outside, and it was supposed to storm. I also had meetings all that day. I was stressed. Two sweet little Mcphie children came to our home that night. My cake however ugly was a hit, and the kids enjoyed Tim's unwrapped gift just as much as if it were elaborately wrapped. I neededn't have been so worried about how Tim would feel I should have had faith in who he was. When I asked Tim how is birthday was later he said it was the best day of his life.
The other major stresses that came about this month were of course Clint's job. He just works for men that are not very happy so they do not want him to be happy either. They intentially make it so he cannot be where his kids are. They do not want to go home so they think that he should be there with them all the time. He is truly overworked and deminished in his value in ways that are inconsciable. He is so upset all the time, and it hurts my heart. I have also been struggling with feelings of being used and abused. Sometimes I feel like I only get called or thought of when someone needs me to help them. I also wanted to teach some people how life really was in the Army. I felt like if people had a little heartache they would know that we all have to work and that life is not a box of wonderfully sweet chocolates all the time. I was seriously having a major struggle. Through all of this I was very prayerful. At least I was doing that right. I needed the spirit. I was embarressed that I felt the way that I did. I was hurt that people could be so awful to my husband and I could not fix it. I wanted to be everything for my children. I wanted to be amazing to everyone around me, when I really should not have cared. I was forgetting to breath. I was forgetting to listen to the calmness. I was all worked up. Still I kept praying. I knew enough to know this was not right and I needed to fix this.
I think Our Heavenly Father knows us. He knows our hearts and feels every struggle. He knew that I needed a miracle. I needed to know that things were going to be okay. I needed to know that heunderstood my heartache. I am sure I knew I just was really struggling with myself. So here comes the miracles. About a week and a half ago I received my children's gifts for Christmas from their Grandma, she had also sent me a book. The book was called A Lamb And A Lion by Rand H Packer. It is the story of Willard and Rebecca Bean and their 24 year mission in Palmyra, NY at the Joseph Smith Farm. I am not going to tell you the whole story, but I am going to tell you a little background so you now why this served as a miracle in my life. During the time that the Beans were in Palmyra they were told to open up that area again so that the mormons could live there freely and happily. This was not an easy task. They were hated, even that long after Joseph Smith (1915). They were very wonderful people and really and truly lived as Saints of the lord. They were kind and truly did turn the other cheek to those who were mean and awful to them. Their house served as a stopover for missionairies coming through that way. They always had missionairies in their home. Rebecca said she never had a night where there was free floor room or room upstairs due to the overnight guests they would have Rebecca also would feed each and every one ov them each and every night. One night as Rebecca fed some more missionairies at a moments notice one asked her how she did it. Her reply was my miracle. She said,"One night I was having a really hard time. I had fed the missionairies in my home cleaned up my house, had a children over my arm and was just feeling bad and underappreciated. She was having a moment like I call it. She was tearful. When it was time for bed she knelt and said her prayers crawled into bed and cried herself to sleep that night. During the night she had a dream. The dream was her taking care of a young missionary. She fed him. She made his bed. She was gracious to him. As he was getting ready to leave he turned to her. Instead of the young missionary who had been there this young missionary had the face of the Savior. He remarked to her that the children were sure growing wonderfully. Then he smiled at her and told her things would be okay and that she could do what was asked of her. For these missionaries represented him, our savior on this earth. She woke the next morning knowing this was also her miracle. She never complained again.
Well that helped so much. The issues of Clints work were not my issues. I couldn't fix it, but Heavenly Father could fix the way I reacted to it. I also could face the people who were truly making my life hard. I still was having feelings of my inadequacy as a mother though. Miracle number two came the next day. Tim came home with a poem. He wrote it specifically for me. It is two entries up from this one. It was called When You Thought That I wasn't Looking. With his little arm around me he gave me this poem. As I read it He said," Mom I love you Merry Christmas." I read this poem and cried. I so need this. I needed this from a little one. I needed to know that is did not matter that I was not the perfect cake decorator, it did not matter that I was not the perfect party planner, or the perfect housekeeper. It did not matter that the laundry never got fully done last week or that somethings still are not done. Tim had just taught me, that the only thing that mattered right there and then was that I was his mother. That was enough. That was what the Lord wanted from me right then. My heart was softened 100 fold. I had to stop to catch my breath. As my sweet little boy skipped off singing Christmas carols in his sweet, little-boy way, I prayed for forgiveness for my stubborness. I prayed that I would always know the love of these spirits that were put in my charge. Heavenly Father had used Tim and the lovely words in his poem to bring me the peace I needed. I know it is a Christmas Gift but this will stay on my wall permanently, as a reminder to me that someone is noticing,so when I start to feel these inadequacies , I can be reminded that I am okay. I am wonderful at least in my children's eyes.
So what are the Four Most Important Things I Learned This Month- 1. A smile only works when accompanied by a prayer... 2. I am only Responsible to my Heavenly Father, My Husband, and Steven and Timothy. No one else really matters in the grand scheme of things... 3. There are some Battles and wars I need not fight. Heavenly Father will take care of the things I fall short in and help with those I can't.. 4. When the struggles come and I just cannot see the light at the end of it all pray and hang in there, the light will come, it is not forever, but my Family Is.
My heart is so full! I did not sleep last night for the excitement and wonder of what has happened to me. I am so thankful to know with such surety that I am loved beyond comprehension. I do not have to give my home up every night for the next 24 years and I have the most wonderful dear family I could ever imagine. I have truly wonderful children who teach me each and everyday. I have a husband who adores me. He calms me when am troubled and is so patient as I change and grow to who I am supposed to be. I was told the other day that I looked refreshed, almost like I was getting a do over. That is what it feels like too. I am getting a do over, I am getting a very drastic change of heart. What an amazing Christmas Gift. Christ was born and suffered already for me so that I could be happy so that I could be who I am. The windows of a little bit of Heaven were opened up to me. I Am Truly Blessed!!!

November and December Fun

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December is always a very full month of fun. This year was no exception. It starts with the celbration of Thanksgiving really. We decorate the tree, shortly after our Thanksgiving visitors leave. I love our tree. Each and every decoration was given to us as a gift, made by someone at my bridal shower before Clint and I got married, or made by a sweet person that we love. It just cannot help to bring feelings of love as it is strung with lights and then draped in beads and all sorts of great decorations and ribbons. This is a family activity and usually we are singing Christmas carols.


December 10th is Steven's Birthay. This year was a big one. He turned twelve years old. He was given the Aaronic priesthood on the 12th of December and is now a Deacon. I am such a proud mother. As i watched his ordanation I felt such love and happiness at the choices that he was making. Steven also had a little birthday party with his sweet friends, the Atwood Boys (Nathan, and Parker). For his birthday party they made Steven's cake and stayed up late and watched movies. They loved it.
December 17th is Timothy's Birthday. We wanted Tim to also have an enjoyable day. We tried to make it so that he would remember it as a happy enjoyable day. He got just what he wanted a Bey Blade duo pack and a BeyBlade Stadium. He loves it. For his party he had a few people over for Ice cream and cake. The only ones that could come were the McPhie Children (Susan and AJ). He loved it. I am glad because I was a bit stressed about it all.
The 19th dawned on a Sunday. This Sunday Clint and I celebrated our thirteenth Wedding Anniversary. I am so glad we have made it so far. Clint had duty on the 18th so he came home in the morning with a surprise of pretty roses and a little necklace. He was so sweet. He wanted to make sure that I knew he did not forget about it. He feels like he was making up for last year since he was deployed. Silly man. He made up just because he was there.
Things have been fun. Christmas is bought and wrapped. I can hardly wait to give it all away. Baking is getting done and people are truly calm. I just think this is such a special time of year. We rememember the savior's birth and everyone is just a little kinder and a little sweeter. So that is our December thus far. Stay tuned for after Christmas Adventure.

When You Thought I wasn't Looking

Okay to prefice this post I have to give a little backgrounds about my week. I have been having an inner struggle with myself. I have not felt very Christlike, infact I have felt pretty ungrateful, and selfish. I have been trying to get over these feelings and so that I will then be able to enjoy this Christmas time and the feelings and blessings that come with it. I felt like I was doing much better today, however there have still been some inner panics as i felt my way through the last couple days. I have been so blessed with such a sweet family. I have a great husband and two sweet boys, that constantly help me to grow and learn by their patience and love. So now I am going to share a poem, that even because I am Tim's momma has made me cry. I am so grateful for his sweet little Spirit.

When You Thought I Wasn't Looking
When You thought I wasn't looking, I saw you tell Grandma that I
got a good grade and It made me get more good grades.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you feed some homeless
people and I thought it was good to be kind to others.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you make my favorite
breakfast just for me, and I knew little things are special things.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I felt you hug me, and
kiss me good night, and I felt loved.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw tears come from
your face and I learned that it's OK to cry.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw that you cared, and I
wanted to be everything that I could be.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I looked- and wanted to say thanks for all the things i saw when you thought I wasn't looking.

Merry Christmas Mom!
Timothy H







Here is Tim's poem. I think I needed to feel a little child's love today. I needed to have that calm that comes from a sweet little boy. I love my family. I love Timothy and I love Steven.... I hope that I can think of this when i feel like I am failing and having my next inner struggle. For i cannot help but think of my little boys now and Smile because I am their momma and that is enough for now.

My Ramblings for the Day

Today is Wednesday. Hump Day as it is so eloquently called. It occured to me today as I was reading a beautifully written blog, that sometimes I am an ungrateful soul, imagine that (lol). Well I am going to try to change that up a little bit. I am not going to be that person. I am not going to wander around being whiny or feeling sorry for myself, afterall I am very grateful for my life so I am going to do something a little different today. Today in honor of the month of November, a month where we celebrate our thankfulness I am going to drop the attitude. I am going to raise my head up high and I am going to shine, well at least in my mind.
I am so happy to be me today. I am happy that I get to live in a place where I am safe, and where my children are safe. I am thankful for my husband and my children. I am thankful to have the priviledge of raising such handsome, honest boys. I am thankful for their courage. I am thankful that they face each day with a smile. That they stretch out their arms towards the sun and say,"Come On World, Give it all You got!" That is such an example to me. What an amazing husband I do have. As we get older I truly feel that I married above me. Clint is always trying to take care of others. Even when he is feeling like he is drowning in quicksand, he takes one more step or breathes a little deeper so he can bring his family to a happier place. I know that I am not an easy person to live with sometimes, but not only does he take care of me but he thinks that I am amazing. What more could a woman want.

I am so thankful for my Heavenly Fther. His presence in my life is immeasurable. If I allow myself to feel of the joys that are allotted for me how happy I truly will be. What an amazing gift I have been given. I am so very thankful for my membership that I enjoy in The Church of Jesus Christ of latter Day Saints. No matter where I am I know that my family will be well taken cafe of. It is difficult to be a military family and be away from our extended family all the time, but because I am a member of the church, I have the joys of a ward family, a family that cares where I am Sunday and everyday and misses me when i am away. I am grateful for the calling that I have in the church. being in the Primary helps me to practice patience and to feel of amazing spirits of GOds children. It amazes me to be given such an opportunity to bless their lives as well as them blessing mine.
I am grateful for a mother and a father who taught me right from wrong. I am grateful for their patient example in my life. My mother always knows when to offer advice and when to cry with me and tell me that I am loved. What an inspiring woman she truly is. How I hope to grow up to be just like her. My dad amazes me everyday. he is such a faithful honest man. He inspires me to put my face to the world and always be true to what I know is good and right, and keep moving forward. What an amazing father he is.

I am also so grateful for good friends. Good friends are the ones who always have your backs. Good friends are there in spirit even when they cannot be there in person. No matter what life brings or where life takes you, you can pick up a phone or type a few words and it is like you talked yesterday. Lives will always continue but you will always be an important part of each others lives. I am grateful for friends that can call me or stop by and they just brighten my face and my life. Yesterday one such friend came by. She brought a scrapbook practice over. I was still at a meeting. She went into the house and without being asked she started to fold my laundry. What a sweetheart she really truly is. I am so grateful to has such wonderful gracious people call me friend.



I am so grateful to live in a home that is warm and big and comfy for my family. I enjoy the love that is shared between these walls. It does not matter where my house is, home is where my family is and where true love does reside.
I am also grateful to have good vehicles. I am grateful that we can drive to and from work, church, school, wherever we might need to go in a warm car or truck. What a blessing that is in our home. I can't imagine living here in this place without it.
How truly blessed I am. This list of blessings is obviously not complete, but it is a nice start to keep me grounded and reminded. I can now get on with my day with my head held high and my face to the wind. I love being me.

Cheap Carpet or Good Vaccuum

Have you ever had one of those day when it is time to go to bed and you just feel like you got hit with a MAC truck? You just can't take anymore? Well so you know how I felt this last weekend. So here is how it went. First thing first.
It was time for Tim's parent teacher conference. I get in the van start it up and roll it out of the garage. Screeeech! The brakes seriously sound horrible. I decide as I am going to the meeting that I will not be driving the van until I have time to take it in and get the brakes fixed so for the weekend we are down to the truck. Hallaluhah!
Friday night after taking the boys to rent a video and getting a pizza i decide to do a craft. I really think crafting or painting is my therapy, but that is not the loveliness of this post so we won't go into that. I get this cute terra cotta pot snowman all made up. it is so cute. When I am done it is time to cleanup. I start with the counters and the fronts. I wipe everything down and begin sweeping. I get done cleaning the kitchen and decide to go ahead and vaccuum the rest. I put the vaccuum on bare floor setting and hit the tile. WooHoo that was easy and I was on a roll. I then decide to go ahead and do my stairs. Now I just start. Clint says something to me and I am destracted and where my vaccuum sits and where the wand is sitting out my carpet is literally missing. I now have a hole about three by four inches all the way to the wood. Oh my heck. Now before you say must be crap, I have to say my carpet is brand new put in in May and my vaccuum is only about 3 weeks old. Seriously looking at my floor is making me ill. How can this happen? Is it a good sucking vaccuum or a crappy carpet. My guess is a little of both.
So that is Friday. Saturday we wake up and head out as a family. We go to a Swimming party with our friends. Seriously fun except that this woman that I have never met in my life starts talking about a certain person being offended and all of the fixings that go along with it. Well guess what the story was about me. It was an untrue story, but non-the-less It really hurt my feelings but I kept that one right on in.
So Saturday night we go off to bed. Now Tim has had this cough for about a week and a half and so i decided Sunday morning that maybe there was something to this cough. I try unsuccessfully to get an appointment with the acute care clinic on post. That was a joke. I try to figure out the referral system for the urgent care center. That is like pulling teeth. Finally I decide that the reason we have insurance is to use it and since we are Tricare it is free for us to go to the ER. I take Tim to Samaritan Sunday morning. He is promptly checked out and I am told he has bronchitis, sinusitis and pertussis. The mother of the year award goes to me. I had no idea. In fact I kind of thought he was faking. We now have a stay out of school order til Wednesday and lots of antibiotics and meds.
I just felt drained. I just can't handle many more weekends like that. I think I need to get a new supply of ST John's Wart. Anyhow I am doing better this week but seriously that is enough. On the bright note... I still cannot get over the sucking power of my vaccuum. Wow that thing really sucked!!:)

Pictures of Henry the Dog

Our little Dog Henry

Many of you know that this summer we added a family member to our household. No we did not have another baby, that is literally impossible, but we did add a baby... DOG. In August while Clint was still on his block leave after returning from OIF once again we decided to go to the mall Pet Store. I have always said I ws not a pet person. Clint has always said he is not a pet person, but this little guy just kind of got your attention. Henry is a little morky. What the heck is that? You may ask. Well a morky is cross breed. Henry is a Yorkshire mix/ Maltese mix. The maltese has stronger bones then a yorkshire so they breed them together to make them stronger. Henry is black and has big hazel eyes. We had looked at him the day before we bought him but that is all it was is looking. We came back to again look because we were bored the next day and Clint put this little puppy up over his shoulder and starts walking to the register. When I asked him what he was doing his simple reply was, "I am taking this dog home." Well that was a surprise. I could not even say no, this little dog already had a hold on us.
We have now had Henry for three months. He is just under six months old and at his maximum size. He is black and as I say BEAUTIFUL! We just love him. He is quite the entertainer. He follows you around everywhere including in the bathroom. He also sits right by you. He dances and wrestles and is quite a riot to watch. He is my companion while Clint is at work and Tim's best buddy too. I am so glad we ended up being Dog people after all. I now believe their is a dog for everyone.

Clint

Veteran's Day

Another Veteran's Day has passed and I think about all the many blessings I have because of the Veterans in this great country. I think that we tend to forget that our everyday life aand freedom is because very brave men and women have come before us and fought for us and others to be safe, have fought for us to be able to live, have fought for us to be able to blog about just whatever our little mind wants to. I for one owe such a debt, one I will never be able to pay.
As we wandered around town yesterday, because Clint was home and the kids did not have school, I heard a variety of comments and snippets of different things. At the mall as I was checking out at Bath and body Works I hear,"It is just another day, after all I am at work." My thought not stated is ..."You have the freedom to work. You have the right to make a living for your family." Then as we are getting lunch from Taco bell I hear," You would think something special was happening today?" now I believe this was meant in a joking way... Still my response again not stated but thought is,"No something extraordinary has already happened so that nothing special would happen today." Later on we headed out for dinner. They had all sorts of discounts and free items for veterans. We decided to go to Texas Road House for dinner. We were met with a smile. There were stickers on the door welcoming active duty military and veterans and saluting them. That was nice. Clint got a free appitizer for his service. I really think it would have been nice if his meal had been free after all I think that these guys earned that one meal a year. But dinner was still wonderful even if we did pay full price.
I still can't help but think how lucky we all are to have been born in America. I am so grateful that I get to speak when I want to. I enjoy going to school and being able to go to which ever church I so desire. These freedoms were given to me at no cost to me but at great cost to these Veterans. Being a military wife means I get to see a glimpse of what is sacrificed so we all may be. I have friends who have lost their husbands. I have friends have lost their fathers. Currently I have friends that are without their husbands, or wives, yet we all continue to live and try to smile for the children and for those around us. How amazing are the men and women that make these sacrifices for us. How amazing are the kids who are left behind or the women who have babies by themselves. How amazing to me that my own husband would sacrifice so much for me. I am so grateful to have celebrated this past Veteran's Day with my husband, a veteran and a member of the US Army. I am so grateful that he has come home safely each time he has had to go. I am one of the lucky ones. Thankyou to all our Veterans. I hope this Veteran's Day was wonderful and that we , the free Americans remember why these men and women serve, and quit complaining about the stupid things. Thankyou to those who currently serve. To those whose wives and husbands are here and also to those whose wives or husbands are currently in harms way. You are true American Heroes.

Vacation Pics and pics of Dog Henry

SO I did not say much about this, but we got a new member of the Family in August. His name is Henry Rascal Hollingsworth. He is a Morky, which is a Maltese, Yorky mix. He is super cute and super sweet. We are glad to have him in our family even if we have to tell him carpet is not an appropriate part of a dog's diet!

Fall Fun

I have not blogged in it seems about forever, yet I guess I have a burr or something because I feel it is time for another. So first I am going to play catch up, then present and then future.
Clint got home from his last deployment in July. We were so happy to see hime. I cannot express how hard that year apart was. It seems the more separations and deployments we go through the harder it is for our family. Nonetheless i do feel that we did a good job. We made it through that year with the least amount of bruising. We all learned so much and grew to know what love really truly is and how it will endure. Anyways enough of that. Since Clint got back in July we were able to take a month of block leave. We went out of town to the Adirondacks, which are amazing in the summer. Our favorite camping place is Adirondack Camping Village in Lake George New York. So that is where we were. We enjoyed camping, shopping swimming, water cruises, and Six Flags. What memories we made.
Summer ended quickly. Septemebr began and the boys started school. Steven who turns twelve this December went on to Middle School. This year he settled on joining the band. He is playing the tuba, and quite well i might add. The big change for him this year is the amount of homework he has each day. On average he does about four hours. Sometimes it seems undaunting to him, but of course he does it and really quite well. The other big change that will be occuring but has not yet for him is this is his last year in Primary. His birthday is the 10th of December and then he will be off to Young men's. They sure grow up fast.
Timothy also had many changes with the start of this school year. he went on to the fifth grade. Now he is one of the big kids. This is his last year at the Intermediate School, but he seems to be handling the pressure fairly well.
Clint went back to work at his current company. He did however get promoted in December, so it is better for him and for our family, even though i know he gets super tired, as he says it is just because some people are just tiring to deal with all the time. Clint is in the Elder's Quorum Presidency in our ward again, and that is also a very daunting task. With so many of the Elder's deployed Clint and the other memebres of the presidency are in charge of 216 members of the Elder's quorum and their families. Quite a task considering there is only Clint and one other man to fulfill it.
I try to keep myself busy. I moved our family off post in May of this year. I was feeling cramped in our little apartment and was ready to spread my wings and have some space. We currently are living in Philadelphia, New york. I have had lots of time to decorate and make this house a home. I also am going back to school. I am registered and if the DOD could find the records that prove that I have the educational benefits that Clint gave me I would be starting school. Hopefully it will work itself out. I am currently serving as the first counsellor in our Primary Presidency at Church. It takes up a lot of time, but those kids are so worth it. I just started a scrapbooking group. Today will be our first, well kind of second time getting together to get some beautiful memories set for history. :) My house stays pretty clean and I am a pretty fulfilled person.
Our family continues to grow in leaps and bounds. This fall we will be in our home enjoying activities such as dipping carmel apples, and making sugar cookies. Thanksgiving is coming and we will be having many friends visiting our home. Excited for that time. I like feeling so grateful for the things that I have and the feelings that our in me. Not too long and it will be Christmas. So excited for that time. Which is my absolute favorite. Does my heart good thinking about it. I love my family. I love watching Steven grow into a man. I like watching Tim being so happy. I am so very proud to be an Army wife to Clint. Life is wonderful even though at some times we are are certainly tested. I am so grateful for the trial we have been through and the blessings I now recognize because of those trials. I am grateful for the growth of my testimony. I am grateful to know who I am and where I am going. I hope that next year only gets better. Anyways that is the end of my feelings for today. Stay tuned!

Funny Boys

So Tim and Steven have decided something i just had to share. Okay so Clint comes home for his R and R pretty quick. The boys know this because I am just so excited I cannot contain myself. Last night at bedtime Tim did not want to g to bed. I really felt like he was tired but needed some mom time. So I asked both boys to come get in my bed for a minute. They did. I thien had a little talk with them. This is where the funny comes in. I asked Tim why he did not want to go to bed and his logical little brain was working overtime and he proceeded to tell me that if he stayed awake then time would go faster and he would see Dad faster. Seems logical when I am writing it. I told him that no matter what it would still be the same amount of time so we might as wll go to bed so we would not be grumpy and we would be happy. This way when Dad finally did get home we would enjoy it more plus a month is still a long time. Well, that really did not cut it but his logical brain took over again and he said, " I really think it would be fater if I just stay awake, but i know that you are old mom, and you need your sleep so i will go to bed I guess!" I had to laugh and then I hugged him and he went to sleep. He is such a good boy.
K so that was the first funny. Second funny was I got the boys a little treat last night. Steven's favorite candy bar is a Kit Kat and Tim's is a Reeses Peanut Butter Cup. When it was time for their little snack i got them out of the freezer and handed them to them. Then i said," so are you going to share?" This is how grous these boys really are. Now no giggling til the end. Steven peeled of a shaving with his finger nail and said," Here Mom." And Tim bit one of his cups, spit it in his hand and said, " Here is a bite." "No Thanks Guys! " I had to laugh. So funny. Tim had an explanation for his biting the cup for me. He said," My bites are a lot smaler then yours so I woud get more. " Again ya can't say they are not logical boys. Anyways i hope you enjoyed my little funny moents.

Friday's Feeling Good Post

So there is so much to post about, and I really have not posted for quite a while. This unfortunately will be more of a rambling then of an ubdate, bu it makes me feel better to talk so I will. read or not that is up to you. December- the boys and I travelled to Idaho for Christmas. It was such a treat to see our wonderful family and friends that we have not seen in such a long long time. I went snow-boarding for the first time, although John, my brother would tell you it was more like snow falling, lol!! Christmas was a great time spent with our family, but I so missed my Clint. Everything we did made me think of him and thoush i continued to try to be happy I so wished he wa by my side- laughing and playing with our family.
So we returned to New York on the 30January. It was so cold here in New York when we returned. As we drove back from he airport I swore we were driving into a Icy wasteland. The weather was so yucky. The next day I was New Year's Eve. It was so cold but at least the roads were clear. The boys and I decided we would have a little New Year's Party with our friends, The Beniots. As a mom I wanted my kids to have a few more snacks and goodies then we had i the house already so I loaded the boys in the car for a shpette run. I was trying to do something good, although only bad came of it. On the way home as we were crossing a very busy intersection we were struck on the passenger rear side of the car. We were hit so hard that we spun around and hit a hydrant and ended up stopping about 45 years from original impact. The car was totalled. There was glass all over my boys. The bumper lay on the street and we were at a rest on top of a hydrant, which thankfully did ot spurt water. That would have been a funny sight. I hit the steering wheel that night and had whiplash and a bruies going from te top of my hip to below my knee. An abulance came that day and we went to the emergency room the next day. The MP which was not a nice man came to my house latr where he issued me a ticket because he said that because I was in the intersection on a red that I must have ran the light. I fought that one. It was dismissed. yet, I am still fighting the insurance to pay my deductibel. The other fellow that hit us had three suspensions on his licence. He was driving a rented car that he did not rent and he was delivering food. This case will likely end up in arbitration. It ticks me off. The one good thing about it is at least the boys and I were not seriously injured.
Februaray was a good month for us. The boys had mid-winter break. This was a much needed vacation and although we did not do much we enjoyed being a family, sleeping in, and doing the things we take for granted on a daily bases when the boys are in school. For Valentine's Day this year the boys were given cute bears picked out and bought by Dad who is deployed. Wht a nice surprise for them.
March has awned bright and cheery. I ave started to count down garbage days until I will see Clint again. We currently have four. Clint will be home at the end of the first week of April for R and R. When I count garbage days instead of regular days the goal seems in sight. I cannot wait to see Cint again. My thoughts always are with him and I can't help but drift to those happy times when our famly is complete and whole together. I know that this life is just a glimpse of our eternity but I am so grateful to have this glimpse of happiness.
The boys are doing so well here. I am so proud of all they have been able to accomplish and do. Steven is so smart. He has been on the Honor Roll since he started school, and fifth grade which they say is a big transitionaly period is no exception. He has straight As and prides himself with his school work. This year he has worked so hard with his musical and artistic ability. It is amazing watching him grow and change into the man he is supposed to becaome. I am glad to be his mom. Timothy is my sweet child. He is such a boy. He loves his video games and can be find in corners of the house playing his DS or reading about codes to finish a video game. He is also a smart cookie. He continues to develop and stays on the credit roll here which is at least all As and a B. I am proud of him. Even when school is so hard and things seem in surmountable he puts one foot inside of the other and you can just see his determination. Heis an amazing force and will be whatever he wants and a force to be reconned with in this life. I am so proud of his accomplishments and his gentle sweetness that I hope never goes away.
I am grateful for all the things I have and all the trials I have gone through to get where I am. I love my family and the friends I have made and kept in this life. I wake up each morning and say a prayer to encounter things with the right spirit and react in a manner that is right. I will be better about posting now, but if I do not, know there will be a rambling or two when I finally do decide to post.
Have a blessed Friday and remember to smile, because even when you are sad on the inside if you smile your outside makes others happy and soon you will be too.